Happy?

Lately, I’ve been asking myself whether there really was something as one being happy. What exactly does it mean to be happy? What criteria do we use to justify our happiness? Is it the feeling of being flustered? Or the rush of blood that we feel in our systems, making a thrill go up and down our spine? I’m not looking for answers to these questions, because if anything they are rhetorical in nature; but, I was still intrigued by the notion and asked my mother if she was happy. She spoke to me without glancing up from her crossword puzzle book and answered, “I don’t think the word you’re looking for is happy. It should be content, as in: are you feeling content?” She didn’t elaborate much afterwards; however, she had given me some food for thought.

Content... Are we content these days? The question really allows you to take a minute and honestly ponder about it. One might start with listing the reasons why he should be content: I have good friends, my health is not bad, and my income is passable... But after listing these superficial items on one’s finger, are they really enough to allow one to be content?

According to “Happiness Expert”, Dr. Robert Dahl, happiness is mostly a by-product of our interaction, expectations, and desires with our environment. He also adds that happiness is in fact a subjective short-term feeling or sensation; whereas content is a more stable state of mind. I’m not a Happiness expert and even I knew that, but having it said from an “expert” really drives the point home. Yes, I know... I’m abusing sarcasm at this point. Even though the advice was pretty basic and straightforward, it really got me thinking about the reasons why I’m NOT content, and the common denominator that kept on popping up was Lebanon.

I don’t want to write an entire blog post bitching about Lebanon, but after living here for a while, the allure of Lebanon has truly faded and all I see are the cracks that I had once disregarded. If you’re a lover of parties, the nightlife, going out to meet friends over drinks in the middle of the week, and spend hours over pointless banter then Welcome to Lebanon and Enjoy Your Stay!

The concept of “Time is Money” is wasted on the Lebanese; when they say they’ll meet you in ten minutes, I always add an additional twenty. If you’re meeting Lebanese gay guys, add an additional hour to those ten minutes. In Lebanon, it’s all about being “Fashionably Late”. It’s about being the center of everyone’s undivided attention and whatever you do; please don’t forget to post it on Facebook the next day with “outrageous” comments detailing every aspect of your night out with the “awesomest” people... Because to be honest, nothing makes my day better than having the honour to browse through your drunken photos in the morning. Ah... How I envy you folks; to be so dumb, vapid, and void of any ambitions other than having a six-pack for the summer and achieving the perfect shade of bronze on your skin. I don’t know how one can even think of looking pale and pasty in the summer time in Lebanon; the audacity.

However, the one aspect of Lebanon that I find the most note-worthy is the constant stream of materialistic behaviour that everyone seems to be contaminated with. Everywhere you go it’s a competition to see who can drop names the most while perfecting their snobbery. It’s all about brand names and other “luxuries” that they’ve probably purchased by mortgaging their house or it’s actually the bank’s money... It’s a superficial world based on the belief that it’s all about “being seen” and I find it hilarious when people take their “going outs” so seriously; like anyone actually cares whether you’re going to White or SkyBar tonight, because in reality, everyone is so caught up in their own make-belief world in which they think they are God’s gift to everyone that they are too preoccupied with themselves to give a damn about you.

Peter Pan, the children’s book, is about a boy wanting to stay eternally young; however, even he realized that Never Ever Land was no longer that fun – we all have to grow up sooner or later. Lebanon is Never Ever Land in my opinion, a place where whether you are 18 or 50 it’s the same issues that are relevant regardless the cohort age group: where are the latest hang-outs and where are the trendiest places to be seen? There is no normal succession of mental development in this country – everyone is constantly in a “Party Phase” of life, which explains perfectly why this country was voted the Party Capital of the World; because, other than partying (and prostituting themselves to Arabs) Lebanese know very little else. Oh, I forgot... They are expert bullshit artists; I mean look at the politicians. They play football together and the next day, everything is okay with the world; archenemies are now best friends – a true Disney Fairytale ending.

I won’t even start on the driving in Lebanon, because that in itself needs another blogpost... The next thing I need to touch upon is the Lebanese BlackBerry obsession: everyone has one these days, because everyone is so busy with their “social calendars” that they need constant updates from other people. Okay, I admit that I have a BlackBerry as well, but I got mine at the age of 23; when I went and bought mine, I was the OLDEST there – kids, aged 12, had the Bold BlackBerry which cost 900$... But I guess they are prepping to be future business men...

With FIFA season on its way, the Lebanese have even managed to make me despise football. They act as though they are originally German or Brazilian when in fact they might originally be from some village in the ass-end of nowhere and they probably used donkeys for transportation ten years ago; they stick those flags to their cars and have fights over who is going to win – and I’m like: Seriously? Is this what we have come to? Fighting over Brazil and Germany in the middle of the street while cussing each other’s mother’s genitals? Half the time I feel like pulling over and shoving those flags and those nasty looking hand things that they dangle on their rear-view mirrors, up their asses; but that’s just me.

If someone were to ask me a year ago if I was content, I would have said: Yes; but today, with the new mindset that I have, I see things very differently. Lebanon isn’t a place that allows you to achieve your potential and seek to be the person you want to be. There is no room for personal growth and exploration of one’s talents and abilities. No, in Lebanon you follow the herd because if you stand out, the consequences are not pretty. I know things outside aren’t that different; there will always be vapid, superficial, materialistic, and crooked people wherever you go. However, a principal of mine said (Edgar Chemmali, to be in fact) that we need a lot of different people to make a world; however, in Lebanon there is no one unique or different – sadly, everyone is the same. Very few people think outside the box and that is a true tragedy.

So, the next time you’re thinking about your “happiness” or how content you are; do what I did and take a look around and then ask yourself: Is this the environment in which I can be content in? Let your answer tell you what to do next...

Till then, I’ll leave you with your happy thoughts.