What's great about having a blog is the mere fact that its a forum in which I can communicate with others. Since starting the G Life, I've received a lot of messages via Facebook and other social networking sites were I have the link to my blog, asking me questions pertaining to their dating experiences. Although my blog is geared more towards homos (what's up, my peeps?), I find it interesting when straight women ask me questions as well - although most of their inquiries are whether or not their boyfriends' behaviors are "gay", which makes me wonder how well do these women actually know their boyfriends! Yet, I still find it amusing at how much relationships play a central role in our daily lives.
Duh! Humans are social animals at the end of the day... In any case, I've decided that because of my vast dating experience (most of which is bad... really bad, like Greek tragedy bad) I've come up with signs to help my fellow gays detect when their "partners" or potential boyfriends or whatever you call them are just into them for their holes. And yes, when I mean "He's just into your hole," I'm referring to the following: He's just in it for the sex. Here, I have listed the signs that help tell you when it's probably a good time to pack up and leave him in the dust.
He's Just Into your Hole when He's Always Busy:
Busy. I love that word, because it packs such a powerful punch. "What are you doing tonight?" "Um... I'm busy." With just one word, you're off the hook. To be honest, I just use the word when I'm seriously not in the mood to see anyone or when I'm avoiding someone in particular. "Busy" is just another way of saying "Fuck off". I learned the true meaning of the word "Busy" when I was going out with a guy back in September 2008. For some reason, he was never "busy" when he wanted to hook-up; however, the second the deed was done he got busy all of a sudden. He gets an "emergency" phone call and needs me out of there ASAP. A week would pass by and he would always be "Busy". Busy doing what? He would mumble something and say bye. The most shocking thing though was when he canceled on me because he was busy, but I ended up seeing him with his friends at ABC. Ergo, he wasn't busy enough to meet his friends; but he was too busy to spend some time with me. I understand that sometimes guys can really be just busy, they might have work or something else that is time consuming; however, I can't understand the excuse of "I was too busy to message you or call you." Puh-leeze! That's the lamest reason for not calling or keeping in touch with someone. "You were on Facebook the whole day, but you couldn't spare 1 minute to send me a text?" I sometimes text people when taking a crap, I even call people by mistake when I put my phone in my back-pocket; so no one is THAT busy that they can't get a hold of you. So if a guy is trying to get a hold of you just when his parents' house is free or when he's "in the mood" that's a clear sign that he's just into your hole. If he can clear his "busy" schedule for sex, then I'm sure he can clear his schedule for a cup of coffee and some conversation that doesn't involve moaning and grunting. Whenever you get the "I'm busy excuse", pause for a moment and think: Was he ever not busy when it didn't involve sex?
You're better than that, so the next time he calls to invite you over for some "fun"; just do what I do and tell him: "I'm just really busy, busy, busy..."
He's Just Into your Hole when He's Only Sexting:
Sexting is a term that means sending sex texts in the form of a "sex invite". I'm sure a whole lot of you are familiar with the whole sexting phenomena. It's usually a one-liner that goes like: "What are you doing tonight?"
You can tell a guy is just into your hole when all he does is just sext you... constantly. When a guy sends you a message at 11:30 asking if you want to 'hang out' at his place, you can bet he's not thinking about sitting on the couch and talking - he wants you to hang on to something, alright and I'm sure you all catch my drift. Therefore the subtext of that text is clearly just sex. If you're fine with that sort of arrangement then by all means go for it; however, if you're thinking this guy wants something more than just sex, I'll tell you to think again. I'm sure he probably mass-sext to everyone he knows and if you can't make it, I'm sure he already has another guy waiting in the wings just to be there. When a guy sexts you and you go running over to him, that just shows him that you're willing to throw everything for just sex. Basically you're his booty-call - and a desperate one too, if I may add. I know sex is a need and I'll be a hypocrite if I went all preachy on you guys and condoned your behavior. No, I think sometimes sex is fine; however, you have to understand that casual sex is just that - it's just sex, nothing more and nothing less. You deserve a guy who would want to text you even if there is no sex involved, not just one who texts you when his parents are out of the house or when he is doing a drive by around in his car and he suddenly got a hard-on. You're worth more than just that one liner... and sometimes they don't even bother using full words! I once got this: "U want 2 cum 2night?"
Nice... I wasn't even worth the time it would take him to fully write those beautiful words of poetry. I didn't bother replying.
He's Just Into your Hole when He's Not Introducing You to His Friends:
You can tell when a guy is really interested in you when he wants you to meet his friends, because that shows you that he sees your relationship as going somewhere beyond the bedroom. Guys talk to their friends as much as girls do, and gay guys tell their friends EVERYTHING. When my friends talk to me about their relationships and guys, it sometimes feels as though I'm part of their relationship because they tell me everything. When a guy takes you to meet the friends, it's a sign that means he wants to see if you'll mesh well with his crowd. Also, after the introduction - which I admit is a bit intimidating because gay guys are pretty territorial and cliquey when in comes to their circle of friends - the guy can get his friends' opinion of whether you are worth going out with. So when a guy you've been with for a while and he's never even suggested you meeting his friends or being seen with him in public, then that's your cue to know that this "thing" is not going anywhere. Again, if you're into the "whole secretive thing" and share the whole "let's be discreet" thing then there wouldn't be a need for you to dwell; however, it would be nice to know that there's something more than just lying on-top of each other and not doing anything else other than intercourse. You merit to have a guy who is so crazy in love with you that he would want everyone to know about you. He would basically want to shout it on every rooftop. When my best friend met his boyfriend, he did everything so that I get a chance to meet him. When it's just you, him, and the bed (or the car) and nothing else... then he's just into your hole. You'll know when a guy is really into you (and I don't mean that in a sexual context), when a guy really likes you, he'll want you to be part of every aspect of his life; including friends.
I know the term "He's just into your hole" sounds crude and a bit raunchy, at the end of the day, it's the truth because he's not into you - instead he's just into having sex with you. Sex is a need; however, you warrant more than just being seen as a sex-object or a as a blow-up doll. I know finding a relationship is hard, especially in the gay community, but there are guys out there that do want more than just a one-night stand and those are the guys you should look for. Next time you find yourself in a situation where you're with a guy and he's only seeing you when sex is involved, then I think its time you admit to the fact that maybe he's just into your hole and not you.
Duh! Humans are social animals at the end of the day... In any case, I've decided that because of my vast dating experience (most of which is bad... really bad, like Greek tragedy bad) I've come up with signs to help my fellow gays detect when their "partners" or potential boyfriends or whatever you call them are just into them for their holes. And yes, when I mean "He's just into your hole," I'm referring to the following: He's just in it for the sex. Here, I have listed the signs that help tell you when it's probably a good time to pack up and leave him in the dust.
He's Just Into your Hole when He's Always Busy:
Busy. I love that word, because it packs such a powerful punch. "What are you doing tonight?" "Um... I'm busy." With just one word, you're off the hook. To be honest, I just use the word when I'm seriously not in the mood to see anyone or when I'm avoiding someone in particular. "Busy" is just another way of saying "Fuck off". I learned the true meaning of the word "Busy" when I was going out with a guy back in September 2008. For some reason, he was never "busy" when he wanted to hook-up; however, the second the deed was done he got busy all of a sudden. He gets an "emergency" phone call and needs me out of there ASAP. A week would pass by and he would always be "Busy". Busy doing what? He would mumble something and say bye. The most shocking thing though was when he canceled on me because he was busy, but I ended up seeing him with his friends at ABC. Ergo, he wasn't busy enough to meet his friends; but he was too busy to spend some time with me. I understand that sometimes guys can really be just busy, they might have work or something else that is time consuming; however, I can't understand the excuse of "I was too busy to message you or call you." Puh-leeze! That's the lamest reason for not calling or keeping in touch with someone. "You were on Facebook the whole day, but you couldn't spare 1 minute to send me a text?" I sometimes text people when taking a crap, I even call people by mistake when I put my phone in my back-pocket; so no one is THAT busy that they can't get a hold of you. So if a guy is trying to get a hold of you just when his parents' house is free or when he's "in the mood" that's a clear sign that he's just into your hole. If he can clear his "busy" schedule for sex, then I'm sure he can clear his schedule for a cup of coffee and some conversation that doesn't involve moaning and grunting. Whenever you get the "I'm busy excuse", pause for a moment and think: Was he ever not busy when it didn't involve sex?
You're better than that, so the next time he calls to invite you over for some "fun"; just do what I do and tell him: "I'm just really busy, busy, busy..."
He's Just Into your Hole when He's Only Sexting:
Sexting is a term that means sending sex texts in the form of a "sex invite". I'm sure a whole lot of you are familiar with the whole sexting phenomena. It's usually a one-liner that goes like: "What are you doing tonight?"
You can tell a guy is just into your hole when all he does is just sext you... constantly. When a guy sends you a message at 11:30 asking if you want to 'hang out' at his place, you can bet he's not thinking about sitting on the couch and talking - he wants you to hang on to something, alright and I'm sure you all catch my drift. Therefore the subtext of that text is clearly just sex. If you're fine with that sort of arrangement then by all means go for it; however, if you're thinking this guy wants something more than just sex, I'll tell you to think again. I'm sure he probably mass-sext to everyone he knows and if you can't make it, I'm sure he already has another guy waiting in the wings just to be there. When a guy sexts you and you go running over to him, that just shows him that you're willing to throw everything for just sex. Basically you're his booty-call - and a desperate one too, if I may add. I know sex is a need and I'll be a hypocrite if I went all preachy on you guys and condoned your behavior. No, I think sometimes sex is fine; however, you have to understand that casual sex is just that - it's just sex, nothing more and nothing less. You deserve a guy who would want to text you even if there is no sex involved, not just one who texts you when his parents are out of the house or when he is doing a drive by around in his car and he suddenly got a hard-on. You're worth more than just that one liner... and sometimes they don't even bother using full words! I once got this: "U want 2 cum 2night?"
Nice... I wasn't even worth the time it would take him to fully write those beautiful words of poetry. I didn't bother replying.
He's Just Into your Hole when He's Not Introducing You to His Friends:
You can tell when a guy is really interested in you when he wants you to meet his friends, because that shows you that he sees your relationship as going somewhere beyond the bedroom. Guys talk to their friends as much as girls do, and gay guys tell their friends EVERYTHING. When my friends talk to me about their relationships and guys, it sometimes feels as though I'm part of their relationship because they tell me everything. When a guy takes you to meet the friends, it's a sign that means he wants to see if you'll mesh well with his crowd. Also, after the introduction - which I admit is a bit intimidating because gay guys are pretty territorial and cliquey when in comes to their circle of friends - the guy can get his friends' opinion of whether you are worth going out with. So when a guy you've been with for a while and he's never even suggested you meeting his friends or being seen with him in public, then that's your cue to know that this "thing" is not going anywhere. Again, if you're into the "whole secretive thing" and share the whole "let's be discreet" thing then there wouldn't be a need for you to dwell; however, it would be nice to know that there's something more than just lying on-top of each other and not doing anything else other than intercourse. You merit to have a guy who is so crazy in love with you that he would want everyone to know about you. He would basically want to shout it on every rooftop. When my best friend met his boyfriend, he did everything so that I get a chance to meet him. When it's just you, him, and the bed (or the car) and nothing else... then he's just into your hole. You'll know when a guy is really into you (and I don't mean that in a sexual context), when a guy really likes you, he'll want you to be part of every aspect of his life; including friends.
I know the term "He's just into your hole" sounds crude and a bit raunchy, at the end of the day, it's the truth because he's not into you - instead he's just into having sex with you. Sex is a need; however, you warrant more than just being seen as a sex-object or a as a blow-up doll. I know finding a relationship is hard, especially in the gay community, but there are guys out there that do want more than just a one-night stand and those are the guys you should look for. Next time you find yourself in a situation where you're with a guy and he's only seeing you when sex is involved, then I think its time you admit to the fact that maybe he's just into your hole and not you.
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