Soulmates... Monogamy... Somebody to love...
These three terms kept me mostly busy during the weekend, I spent most of my time just thinking about them as I listened to depressing country music and watched Beirut drown in rain... And for some reason, it got me thinking...
Soulmates... Do they really exist? Is there one person out there for you? Are we destined to meet that one special person who is out there waiting and looking for us? What if we have already crossed paths and somehow missed each other?
Two years ago, I was really interested in understanding more about soulmates so I had done an extensive research on the subject and I remember reading that the Aztecs believed that we are all old-reincarnated souls and that we carry fragments of our past lives' history, temperaments, and loves... So we spent our whole "new life" trying to reconnect with individual's from our past - even our loved ones; therefore, the Aztecs really did believe in soulmates... They are out there and we always manage to find each other again and again, no matter how far and near we might be. For some time, I had managed to find comfort in that thought... But is my soulmate in Lebanon? I would spend a good portion of my time, imagining my soulmate is out there looking for me, wondering what I'm doing.... But another thought came to me, are my parents really soulmates? Were my parents old souls that had managed to find each other and be together? For some reason, although my parents do love each other, I have difficulty believing that they truly are soulmates or truly meant to be together - they are vastly different from one another. What if someone is dating another individual, but has managed to find that one person who he knows and can feel it in his bones that they are meant to be; should he be true and follow his heart and risk everything by pursuing a silly idea like soulmates?
Can we love just one person? Can we make a promise to ourselves to just love one person? I'm not promoting polygamy or anything, but I just think that it would be a lie to tell someone that you'll love them and just them. This conversation sprung up when I was talking about relationships with a friend mine and I was vehemently arguing about the "value of monogamy," but I started having second thoughts later on. What if I'm dating this amazing guy, but somehow I manage to find another great guy - why should I have to choose between the two? Why can't I love them both? What if the second guy happens to be my soulmate, but I do have feelings for my boyfriend as well? This brings me to the concept of monogamy...
I think monogamy in homosexual relationships are very difficult to maintain and to keep, and that's because there is nothing that "officially" binds one person to another. I'm not saying that there needs to be a law that binds individuals to one another to maintain a relationship; but in heterosexual relationships there are "consequences" for breaking such a vow. Charles Darwin, the evolutionist, said that in order for males to survive they need to sleep with as many women in order to ensure the survival of their genes; however, he adds that society "condemns" such sexual behaviors and that is why monogamy is present. Gay men are wired the exact same way as heterosexual males - they have the basic wiring: needing to sleep with as many individuals to ensure survival, but without a need to establish "monogamy", gay relationships are almost impossible to keep.
At the end of the day, I'm not sure whether such things as soulmates, the "one", or the "love of my life" really do exist and that they are out there waiting and looking for me... It's like spending a fortune on Astrology books that talk about the compatibility of different star signs with one another and after a while you start to realize that it's all bull. With time, I started to come to terms with the notion that believing in soulmates is also a crock of bull - it's a delusion that we entertain ourselves with; a rationale we use to describe why we are still single and alone. Oh... I'm single because I just haven't found my soulmate yet. What if we've spent so much time and energy trying to "find" our soulmate that we have actually missed a great opportunity with an amazing guy who's right under our noses?
Is there somebody to love? I'll be an optimist and say 'yes', but will it be a long-lasting love affair? Will he be your soulmate? The answer to those I'm not quite sure. But if you're like me and think that you "deserve to be loved" and that you "need to be loved," than I'm going to tell you what I've been told many times before: Love happens when you least expect it... So till then, just love the one you're with! And if you're alone, you can always love yourself!
These three terms kept me mostly busy during the weekend, I spent most of my time just thinking about them as I listened to depressing country music and watched Beirut drown in rain... And for some reason, it got me thinking...
Soulmates... Do they really exist? Is there one person out there for you? Are we destined to meet that one special person who is out there waiting and looking for us? What if we have already crossed paths and somehow missed each other?
Two years ago, I was really interested in understanding more about soulmates so I had done an extensive research on the subject and I remember reading that the Aztecs believed that we are all old-reincarnated souls and that we carry fragments of our past lives' history, temperaments, and loves... So we spent our whole "new life" trying to reconnect with individual's from our past - even our loved ones; therefore, the Aztecs really did believe in soulmates... They are out there and we always manage to find each other again and again, no matter how far and near we might be. For some time, I had managed to find comfort in that thought... But is my soulmate in Lebanon? I would spend a good portion of my time, imagining my soulmate is out there looking for me, wondering what I'm doing.... But another thought came to me, are my parents really soulmates? Were my parents old souls that had managed to find each other and be together? For some reason, although my parents do love each other, I have difficulty believing that they truly are soulmates or truly meant to be together - they are vastly different from one another. What if someone is dating another individual, but has managed to find that one person who he knows and can feel it in his bones that they are meant to be; should he be true and follow his heart and risk everything by pursuing a silly idea like soulmates?
Can we love just one person? Can we make a promise to ourselves to just love one person? I'm not promoting polygamy or anything, but I just think that it would be a lie to tell someone that you'll love them and just them. This conversation sprung up when I was talking about relationships with a friend mine and I was vehemently arguing about the "value of monogamy," but I started having second thoughts later on. What if I'm dating this amazing guy, but somehow I manage to find another great guy - why should I have to choose between the two? Why can't I love them both? What if the second guy happens to be my soulmate, but I do have feelings for my boyfriend as well? This brings me to the concept of monogamy...
I think monogamy in homosexual relationships are very difficult to maintain and to keep, and that's because there is nothing that "officially" binds one person to another. I'm not saying that there needs to be a law that binds individuals to one another to maintain a relationship; but in heterosexual relationships there are "consequences" for breaking such a vow. Charles Darwin, the evolutionist, said that in order for males to survive they need to sleep with as many women in order to ensure the survival of their genes; however, he adds that society "condemns" such sexual behaviors and that is why monogamy is present. Gay men are wired the exact same way as heterosexual males - they have the basic wiring: needing to sleep with as many individuals to ensure survival, but without a need to establish "monogamy", gay relationships are almost impossible to keep.
At the end of the day, I'm not sure whether such things as soulmates, the "one", or the "love of my life" really do exist and that they are out there waiting and looking for me... It's like spending a fortune on Astrology books that talk about the compatibility of different star signs with one another and after a while you start to realize that it's all bull. With time, I started to come to terms with the notion that believing in soulmates is also a crock of bull - it's a delusion that we entertain ourselves with; a rationale we use to describe why we are still single and alone. Oh... I'm single because I just haven't found my soulmate yet. What if we've spent so much time and energy trying to "find" our soulmate that we have actually missed a great opportunity with an amazing guy who's right under our noses?
Is there somebody to love? I'll be an optimist and say 'yes', but will it be a long-lasting love affair? Will he be your soulmate? The answer to those I'm not quite sure. But if you're like me and think that you "deserve to be loved" and that you "need to be loved," than I'm going to tell you what I've been told many times before: Love happens when you least expect it... So till then, just love the one you're with! And if you're alone, you can always love yourself!
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